Taking actions

Is there anything you want, been thinking about for a while and so far done nothing about it?  A great new Idea you have been meaning to try, but the longer you wait with acting on it, the less of a chance you will make it happen. 

The reason why we often don’t follow up on what we want is, knowing that there is a lot at stake if things don’t work out. 

The longer we wait, the list of all the things that can go wrong grows. 

Making an important change is scary, I get it. There is the pain of failing, hurting, the confidence you may lose in yourself, and the next time you have an idea, you will convince yourself not to try it. As you will still be beating yourself up for the one you tried and didn`t go according to plan. 

So now, you shut your creativity and eager to grow and develop by telling yourself that you are fine without it. Staying in your safe comfort zone. 

What would it take, for you to trust yourself and your abilities? 

 Let me know what I can do to help you achieve what you want  

Stop waiting.Start Living

Waiting for whom or for what? 

What needs to happen in our lives for us to start living?

And why are we waiting for IT to happen instead of moving towards it?

more…

Love is fundamental

The impact of LOVE is not as clear, not as visible and not as appreciated.

Why is that?

more…

TagesAnzeiger_Valentine2020

On Valentines Day, I was asked by the Tages Anzeiger to share 5 Tips on how to optimise your first date!

Here are my 5 Tips:

https://m.tagesanzeiger.ch/

or to read the Blog

more…

The giver in the relationship

You can`t fix everything. No one can. You wanted this relationship to work, and you did everything you could. And now you feel like you have failed. You didn`t fail.

Once you stop seeing yourself as the one who has been left, and instead, the person who deserves someone better – someone who appreciates you more, you will gain the strength to move on.

painful experience

The pain you cause her when you “vanish” after being with her, is selfish and unkind

I feel it is time for me to write about this. Every other woman I speak to, has been in this situation…

This blog is for men explaining the women’s side.

You have taken the time to meet her and get to know her. Surely, you have used your skills as a gentleman to get closer. Which means you can be a gentleman ….haha

For her to decide to get intimate with you, she needs to see, feel and believe that you are a potential partner, someone she can trust.

You can argue and say that you saw something in her for you to move to the next level and she was under no pressure to sleep with you.

But this is the thing:

more…

Effort goes both ways

Set the standard from the very beginning when dating: Effort goes both ways!

We have a busy life, often not as much time as we would like for socializing, hobbies, doing things we are passionate about.

The way we choose how to spend our time has to do with how important are these activities or people to us.

When you start dating, there is so much to explore, and the more excited we are, the bigger effort we will put in getting to know this person. Regardless of how little time we have, how far this person is, how tired we are. The adrenaline, curiosity and passion will win.

When you feel that you are making a bigger effort to meet than your date, its not because you have more time on your hands, its because you have made it more of a priority than they have.

Sadly, it is often seen as a “turn off” by the side who is making less of an effort. In fact, the more effort you put in, the less they will.

You need to start from an equal point at the very beginning. Only then you can maintain respect, appreciation and effort from your date.

Intimacy after a divorce

When a long term relationship comes to an end, you go through an emotional rollercoaster. Whether you initiated it or not, things from this point on will be different to what you have been used to. 

Give yourself the time to adjust and think carefully about what you really want and need. What has worked for you and what hasen`t. 

more…

Improve your dating experience

Do you miss being in a relationship?

Are you ready o give dating a try?

Starting to date again after a long term relationship is not easy.

These 9 simple Tips will help you minimise negative experiences when dating and ensure that you optimise every opportunity ! 

more…

catch his attention

When deciding on whether to get to know someone better, men and women prioritize things differently. At least at the very beginning…

Men will get curious about a woman if they find her attractive. They still want the full package but in order for them to want to explore the inside of that package, they are first drawn to the wrapping

I often see when matching men and women in Match4Me, that at the end of every date, men would make the choice of seeing the woman they have just dated again, based mainly on her looks. Women will decide if to see this guy again based on his achievements, values, sense of humor.

The reason is a basic one. Although times have changed, when deciding if a person is right for us, men base their decision on looks, thinking: 

I want a woman who is beautiful and fit that will give me beautiful and healthy babies

And also, someone who takes good care of her body, will stay attractive for longer, will age well. 

While women think: 

I need a guy I can rely on, someone that can take care of me and our future kids. Can provide for us all at times where I won’t be able to financially contribute (i.e at home with the kids).

Someone who is driven and ambitious. Who will be able to manage the financial challenges the future brings. Family, mortgage, etc.

Don`t get me wrong, I am not saying that women will date just anyone as long as they can provide and men will be happy with a fully dependent woman as long as she is beautiful. No.

I am saying that when a man and a woman who are both single and looking to be in a long term relationship meet for the very first time, their focus is different.

A happy and healthy relationship can turn loveless without any major incidents. Routine, financial stress, a demanding job, family… these are just a few examples of what can create both a physical and an emotional distance between the two of you.

more…

I work with men and women who are turning to me to help them find a partner so they can be in a healthy and happy relationship.

One of the first things we work on, is their wish list. 

And honestly, their wishlist is often either too long or too short.

When the list is a very long one, I often see someone who:

want things they don`t believe they can achieve on their own

OR

Someone who seems as though they are putting themselves on a pedestal, when actually they are making it hard for anyone to get close to them, in order to protect themselves from getting hurt once again.

And when the list is too short and general it is because:

They feel lonely and in need of love

OR

Their self esteem is low.

So for that, they are willing to compromise and even sacrifice a lot in order to be with someone.

Working on a wish list that is truly reflecting my clients needs and wishes is a step closer to them confidently seeing themselves worthy of love.

Until you don`t see yourself at your full potential,

as the amazing, beautiful, worthy of love, no one else will.

So give yourself the time to properly evaluate,

What you need in order to achieve your full potential?

What makes you truly love yourself?

What brings out the best in you, and how can you get more of it?

And then, work on

a PLAN,

a SCHEDULE,

a WAY

for you to get what you reeeaaaally need, starting by telling yourself I totally deserve it!

Talking about this with your partner is a hard thing to do.

The topic is sensitive and you fear they may take it the wrong way,

which in return, can backfire at you.

If your have been missing the intimacy and passion in your relationship for a long while, it will feel awkward opening up.

You feel like you are treading on eggshells.

You tell yourself, why rock the boat when everything else in our relationship is working fine?

After so many years its normal?

Your friends have the same issue as well…

Your partner is simply not so “into it” anymore and you should be grateful for all the other parts of your relationship which are comfortable and good

Remember this: Although raising this topic with your partner makes you feel uncomfortable, and they might even feel like you are accusing them of something and go into “defense mode” and become even more distant.

It is not to be compared with what you two will be going through, if instead of trying to fix your relationship with them and speak to them – you went looking for it elsewhere…

It’s basically doing the exact same thing over and over again hoping to reach different results.

So when I hear:

Sharon, I am putting myself EVERYWHERE, doing EVERYTHING I can

and I still don`t date anyone even close to what I am looking for in a partner…

I ask: Where is everywhere?

And I would get something like a list of different dating sites, followed by comments like, “ALL the guys are all just looking for ….”

or

“ALL the women I date are so ….”

So why are you still a member of those sites then? I ask

“What else shall I do? I can`t just do nothing! “

True, I say, but doing the exact same thing on different (and yet VERY similar) dating sites, and then being disappointed by the similar results, is also not a great plan, is it?

Repeating the same action in different places is often one of the 2:

Not knowing anything better

Fearing the new and unknown

So which one is it?

You have been looking for a potential partner for a while. Tried different ways which often result in you stepping out of your comfort zone. But the people you meet and date are not what you see yourself having in a relationship. 

Where are all the good ones? 

These are the most common mistakes happening in the dating scene 

6 Most common mistakes when dating:
Singles Parties are not for everyone:

A room full of people and loud music makes it harder to have a conversation and really get to know people. And often the impression you get of a person is a wrong one. If you are not the type who likes big loud parties, the chance of you meeting your ideal partner there is low.

more…