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Singles Parties are not for everyone:

A room full of people and loud music makes it harder to have a conversation and really get to know people. And often the impression you get of a person is a wrong one. If you are not the type who likes big loud parties, the chance of you meeting your ideal partner there is low.

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Using online dating as your main way of finding a partner:

There is a misconception of minimum effort and high success regarding online dating sites. You may end up spending hours a week replying to messages, checking potential candidates whom you have no way to verify the integrity and accuracy of the data.

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Surrounding yourself with the wrong people:

Especially when dating after a divorce, people tend to surround themselves with people who have gone through the same hardship. For a successful dating experience its best to try new approaches, let go of some of your fears. Get excited and curious. It is harder when you are also affected by the “horror” stories of others. One way does not work for all. And not trying a certain path because it has not worked for your friend, means you might be missing on an opportunity at best and a learning experience at worst.

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Unrealistic “checklist”:

Its is important to know what you are looking for, based on previous experience and your current situation. When going through your wish list. Read it out loud and ask yourself, if the person that ticks off all the boxes on my list meets me, would they see me as a match for them? If the answer is no, then your wishlist will be hard to achieve.

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Compering every date to your ex is unhealthy:

You need to give your date a fair chance. First page of a brand new book, not another story of the same book.

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Repeating the same pattern of dating for a long time does not count as giving it your best:

I know that sounds harsh, but I am just being honest. The fact that you have been going to the same kind of parties, being on the same online dating sites or dating the same kind of people whom you know are not good for you means you will have more bad experiences. And the more you have them, the less hope you have to meeting your ideal partner.


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